Guilt and shame are like conjoined twins. In the context of therapy, they’re often mentioned in the same breath. People typically talk about them like a package – as though we can't have one without the other. But if we take out our conceptual scalpels and split them apart, we’re likely to see that guilt and shame are actually fundamentally different from one another. But just what are those differences?
Read moreResisting Perfectionism
Perfectionism is tightly woven into the fabric of many Western cultures. It requires us to strive toward impossible ends, only to be met with discouragement and dissatisfaction. In this post I discuss experiences of working with folks responding to perfectionistic ideals and how we can resist them.
Read moreKeeping Competition out of the Conversation
We live in a culture of competition. Many of the concerns people bring to therapy invoke images of opposition to their problems. These competitive descriptions are almost part of the air we breathe. In this post I consider the implications competitive descriptions of problems hold for our lives and identities.
Read moreMisery Hates Company
We’ve all heard that old saying, “Misery loves company”, and we all know what it means: people who are suffering seek the company of others who are also suffering. But what happens after those people get together? In this post I explore the relationship between depression and social isolation, and how positive social relationships can help.
Read moreHow We Resist Being Defined By Our Jobs
In this revised and reworked version of a classic post, I explore social conventions around the question "So, what do you do?" and the value judgments we make about people's occupations. I also consider how these value judgments and identity conclusions might inform social anxiety for some.
Read moreYour Emotions Aren't a Problem
A lot of people seek therapy because they believe their emotions are a problem. We receive plenty of messages that invalidate our emotional responses to events in our lives. In this blog post I discuss the importance of our emotions and contest the popular notion that our feelings are irrational or pathological.
Read moreThe Relationship Between Confidence and Anxiety
There's a clear relationship between confidence, doubt, and anxiety. In this blog post, I explore what that is and how we can respond to doubt in ways that relieve some types of anxiety.
Read moreWhy We Struggle to Keep Our New Years Resolutions (and What We Can Do About It)
Do you ever wonder why it can be so hard to follow through on your New Year's resolutions? In this post I offer two key factors that can make all the difference when it comes to success, and what you can do about it.
Read moreInsider Knowledge on Surviving the Holidays
Although the holidays can be a joyous time of connection for many, they can also be extremely challenging for some. In this post I’ll share some of the strategies that people who struggle over the holiday season have shared with me.
Read moreGrief: You're Not Going Crazy
It’s something most people can relate to: experiences of loss and change that turn your world upside down. These experiences are often related to grief or mourning. The social responses we receive around these experiences can have a lot to do with how we adjust, heal and recover. Negative social responses are common, and are emblematic of the fact that there are a lot of regressive and inaccurate ideas in mainstream culture about grief and loss.
Read more